Black Friday=Walpurgisnacht... it all makes sense!

Black Friday: the biggest shopping day of the year, when all the idiots come out in the dark to scream and grab and punch
Walpurgisnacht: the witch's sabbath
Jdimytai Damour: WalMart employee trampled to death after he opened the doors to Black Friday customers.

So here's my conspiracy theory: Black Friday is really a Satanic Ritual, a feeding frenzy orchestrated by the evil Masters of the Universe, ie The WalMart Board. How could a situation like this ever exist WITHOUT demonic influence? People aren't really this mindless... right? This year, with the economy tanking, a human sacrifice was required by their demonic overlords. Enter poor Jdimytai Damour, thrown to the wolves (in this case, consumers) so that the stampede can continue.

I'm sure there are plenty of Illuminati experts who can provide additional information on this. :)